microphone check

online for Vancouver?

ice capades

Sunday night's coverage could have been the worst coverage in the history of the Winter Games. The two-man competition couldn’t even save it, especially when there was little drama, and they cut to it so early in the telecast. Supposedly there was carnage at the ice dancing venue other than the outfits, but I don't believe it. I saw the one chick get dropped from about 2 feet in the air on the "highlight show" this morning. Yawn. I drop Karlo from higher than that on a daily, okay, hourly, basis. No broken bones, no stitches, no nothing...they made a big deal of a "staredown". WHAT!!! Is no one at NBC sports married? She didn't even throw a stuffed animal at him. The competitors must have thought that if the fell like Ohno, they'd get endorsements like Ohno. I agree with my esteemed cousin that, yes, they should, in fact, cease passing on the biscuits.

The U.S. hockey team nets but one goal, and the Canadians are shut out for a second consecutive match, turning the hockey competition into a pre-lockout cesspool of boring, trap-style, clutch-and-grab nothingness. Even heard Kasparitis stressing "defense" for the Russian squad. Darius, you have Ovcechkin AND Kovalchuk on your team...we want to see them flying up and down the ice!!!

Of course, while scouring the cable channels at Grandma Weesey's house this morning, for the one-half second I was on CNN-something, they spoiled the results of the women's Super G for me...that makes tonight's coverage that much more sketchy. Not that I won't watch, but count me out after about the first 80 minutes, as they will surely show us 2-plus hours of ice dancing "drama". This is the ONLY thing that could make ice dancing at all watchable. Put them all out there at once. No helmets, no pads. Catfights in abundance. And it would only last about 5 minutes.

SUNDAY'S MEDALS:
Gold:: Italian Cross Country relay team. "Zorro", skiing the achor leg, managed to take an Italian flag from a bystander, and cross the finish line without falling, apparently no small feat for this crop of showboating Winter Olympians.
Silver: Undecided - God, for delaying the women's super G with a blinding snowstorm, thus allowing Janica to heal for an extra day...OR Janica, for delaying the women's Super G with a blinding snowstorm, thus allowing herself to heal for an extra day.
Bronze: Banned Austrian Cross-Country Skiing "consultant" Walter Mayer. Mayer, having fled an anti-doping raid, had the good sense of taking a nap in his car fifteen miles shy of the Italian border, only to be roused by authorities, resulting in a car chase. Mayer fared about as well as his "clients", quickly being reeled in by Italian authorities.

zlatna medalja!!!

It was borderline automatic. Dare I say it, but her performance is reminiscent of the 85 Bears under a certain head coach who will not be named. Now I must ask you my friend, who would win the gold medal if Janica was skiing with a piano on her back, acvanced cases of both the bubonic plague and asian bird flu, blindfolded, rubbed down with bacon fat with freaking sharks with freaking lasers instead of gates? My money's on...Janica. Shame on NBC for showing her in shorts, though.

Was without internet for the first day of our stay in STL, so I didn't get a chance to post anything, but here goes:

Thursday's competition was pretty boring. Don't even remember much.

Then Friday brought us Lindsey Jacobelis. It was worse than Leon Lett meeting Jean Van de Velde on the 18th fairway of Carnoustie wearing Chicago Cubs uniforms skating a Michelle Kwan routine. Did that girl who passed her remind anyone else of Mookie Wilson crossing the plate?

Yesterday's competition could have been the best televised Olympic days in years. I started it off by watching 4 hockey games. If anyone gets a chance to spend a day watching the hockey competition, it's worth it. The games end in two hours, the teams are playing with passion and the goaltending is off the charts.

Then there was some good biatholon-cross country skiing stuff, including the Frenchman's upset in biatholon. France could have used that guy before they rolled over for Germany in '41.

Last night's coverage had nothing but solid events, too. Two man, followed by Janica's inevitable triumph, followed by short track, followed by men's skiing, followed by long track, followed by Ohno choking again, capped off with the large hill! All great events.

Now Ohno. He quit skating. And though I personally needed his bronze, he showed no commitment to winning the gold whatsoever. Poor showing. And, his best buddy Shani Davis acted like a chump during his interview, too. Too bad, cause being from Evanston, I want to like Shani, but I just don't think I can.

Bode. Typical. I'll give Bode credit, every race is a different mistake.

TODAY'S MEDALS
Gold Janica. Duh.
Silver Kjetil Andre Aamodt. The baby shark adds a gold at age 34 to go with his two at 30 and one when he was 20 way back in Alberville. A win for us old folks.
Bronze Martin Gerber. He stopped something insane like 48 shots in a shutout of Canada. It was the definition of standing on one's head.

Why i love short track

Since short track shares a venue with figure skating, when there's short track, there's no figure skating!

Janica, shaman

After winning the silver, Ivica admitted: "Janica came to the finish and hug me tight, she was crying more than I was. She was a little bit sick today but she told me that she gave me all her strength. It was wonderful.” I was obviously just a little off in my statements that Janica could beat the men, too, and get 10 gold medals. She isn't yet good enough for gold in the men's events, just silver. On the other hand, maybe some of her strength was lost in the transfer of powers. If she could just cut to the chase, and not bother with Ivica, maybe she could win gold.

I knew the night before that Janica would be in trouble for her downhill run when I saw her at Ivica's race. I knew she had been sick, and thought she had no business being out in the cold watching Ivica. She was just being stubborn.

Today's goat horns goes to Apolo Anton Ohno's girlfriend, Allison Baver. With a chance to qualify for the Women's short track final...she STOPS SKATING because she's afraid she'll bump into someone. Apparently choking is contageous. Allison, Allison...first off, that helmet's on your head for a reason. Second, being AAO's girlfriend, you should have plenty of opportunities to see skaters wipe out and walk away uscathed. Finally, if you were afraid of being DQ'ed, you were not going to qualify anyway. I just thought you were a few sequins short of a figure skating outfit when you said that AAO was the best skater in the world. After this performance, I'm sure.

NFL GM's are going to love Jeremy Bloom's comments after pulling a Baver: "I knew I had made a mistake," he said, referring to his run. "I came here to accomplish my goals. I didn't come here to win any certain color medals. I was so close, you know." If your goal was to underperform, to quote our Commander-in-Chief, Mission Accomplished. Trying hard really goes over well in the NFL. The Bears better not pick this guy.

Wednesday's medals.
Gold: Ante Kostelc - he's obviously flipped all the right switches in the past, so I'm not going to doubt him. Ivica's silver and this decision makes me think that CroSki has their game faces on.
Silver: Micheala Dorfmeister - when I saw her run, I was like "game over". It was just like Janica's race when we were in Park City in 2002. Now maybe she can get those teeth cleaned.
Bronze: Deborah Dawson (Toby Dawson's mom) - THAT's how you are supposed to act when your kid gets a medal. You raised to Toby to think: "Go big or go home." Unlike most of the rest of the U.S. team.
Honorable Mention: Lindsey Kildow. If she can wring a medal out of these games, she's the new and improved Picabo.

I-Vi-ca!!! I-Vi-ca!!! I-Vi-ca!!!

Complete surprise from the older brother. Too bad he didn't win, because his silver celebration was 50 times better than Ligedy's gold. Even mom and dad Ligedy were bored by their sons celebration. I feel shame that the country that invented pro wrestling is represented by these milquetoast Olympic "champions".

Now the question begs, will Janica be out late partying with Ivica, or will she use it as inspiration for the downwill today...

If she wins the downhill, then there is no question she will go 5 for 5.

If she loses the downhill, we'll have to settle for 4 for 5.

Now I will try not to peek at the results, and watch "live" on tape-delay...only 14 hours to go!!!

Why, oh why, do we have to watch 15 men's figure skaters? God, it is painful to watch this coverage without TiVo. At least it was the short program. No figure skating tonight, as far as I can tell, though we'll get some coverage for sure. And if NBC's "Olympic Ice" program delivers "everything you need to know about figure skating", then why do the cover it again in primetime?

overheard walking through the living room

WIth the pairs figure skating final, whoever the woman in the NBC booth said something along the lines of: "The Chinese spin better, jump better, and toss each other around better, but the Russians have this skating quality the Chinese can't match."

Huh? Racist? Stupid? Both? At least Karlo said, I don't like to watch figure skating. Without prompting. I assured him that something better would be on tonight. Had to work, so I didn't catch much of anything.

Hunting trip update.

Cheney met with reporters and stated that despite mounting casualties, their hunting trip was going well, and he and Michele could be counted on to "Stay the course"

In related news, FEMA announced plans to construct a Michelle Kwan monument on the site of the first levee breach just outside of New Orleans. R. David Paulison, FEMA chair stated: "With the eyes of the entire world watching, the levees and Michelle both fell with such grace and dignity, that we feel this is the perfect spot for such a fitting tribute." Preliminary sketches show a few sequins scattered on the ground. Haliburton was awarded the $500M contract.

Deja anton vu

If you remember, Ohno's last Olympic race ended much the same way as this one did. Him falling down and knocking someone down with him. I'm not going to bash Ohno (despite the gold blades - MK flashbacks anyone?) . I'm going to bash his girlfriend, short track skater Allison Baver, who said: "I know he's the best skater in the world and he really didn't have a chance to show that. But the Olympics aren't over." No, Allison, the poor soul our beloved AAO plowed into didn't get a chance to show that he was the best skater in the world.

On the upside for the US squad, The Flying Tomato got his swurve on after a shaky first run in the halfpipe. Finally, NBC picked a winner to focus on. So far, 1.5 for 5 (See below) Nice work, kid, keep it up.

Now the half point. Bode Miller earns a half point for A) not choking in the downhill, and B) giving credit where credit is due. When being interviewed by NBC after the race he said something along the lines of: "I thought I skiied well. If I could have done everything perfectly, I would have won the silver." Ms. Baver, that's how you handle losing. Bode Miller, the thumb is officially up. You still need to win something, however to give the full point.

Daron Rahlves, enjoy your table with Kwan and Ohno. You displayed the decisiveness of a three-year old...Cheerios/Raisin Bran/Cheerios/Raisin Bran AND you did it because you were afraid of losing to Bode (If Bode's having Cheerios, I'm having Cheerios!!!). Yes, the US Media favors Bode over you. Get used to it. But learn from Sarah Hughes, the media does not have a very good record of picking Olympic champions. If you want the media to pay attention to you, apparently all it takes is a soul patch and longish hair. Or just refer to yourself in the third person. The media loves that.

Perfomances of the Day:
Gold: Frode Estil
Silver: Ireen Wust
Bronze: Antoine Deneraiz

If you were watching only the Prime Time coverage, you missed the best two performaces of the day. In Cross Country, defending champ Estil got tripped up at the start of his race and had like 4 or 5 other skiiers crash into him. After getting up from the bottom of the pile, he found that he was about a minute behind the other favorites. Ignoring the Allison Baver on his left shoulder, he pulled himself together, caught everyone, and had the lead with about 100 meters to go before the Russian edged him out. Nice one, Frode.

Ireen Wust just dominated the field in the 3000M speed skating event. Janica-esque.

Deneraiz similarly demolished the men's downhill field. That run was fun to watch. NBC's effect where they show two skiiers at a time really showed how Deneraiz got it done.